Give me dirt and walls So I no longer am filled with this vanity that poisens my mind Strip down my introspection It's no longer intelligent, just semi-critical admiration My mind stoops to self-glorification once more And it makes me sick
"The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter"
So it's true Over the span of thousands of years I find your poetry Your aching and your moans Your triumph and your complete undress You feel it too
I do know that I have felt this and that I am learning not to be ashamed of the fluxuation of the sort It is useless to excuse a fact I know nothing about And, truthfully, is simply inexcusable. I feel, this is healthy
Yes, it is painfull and dim In the darkest of times you seem to not understand anything else But on the outside, you are able to learn Even in the midst of a clearing darkness You can even take in the muddled images The outlines of what you barely see Here is a gift, sweet girl You may share it some day What a gift that would be! The facets of saddness are as those on a diamond So numerous But the challenge is to find the distinct shimmering beauty in each of these Each one like a precious gem that you can hold in hand with another Because you have felt that feeling that nobody seems to understand And here you are, with the understanding mind and compassionate heart I am building up your heart, so it is strong and bountiful with kindness I am crystalizing every emotion Though sharp and cutting, the healing is so beautiful You will not have scars, but marks of wisdom I Love You
I came very near to quitting God I know I can't do that It is in me, I know it is in me But I can barely see its light Whatever passions you've infused me with Have become muddled and faint I know they're there but God, my entire being feels so flat I see and smell the joy surrounding me I know it IS But it doesn't seem to get past my skin I'm like a globe surrounded by beautiful things But inside is empty and sparse I want to taste this life God I want to drink it down so it fills my veins And pulses through my body But it feels like every inlet is closed And I'm stranded in the middle
God I know I am not stranded I know you are holding me to you And I am directly in your hands I trust I trust I trust you know And that above all gives me peace finally
So please make me real again Not wooden and cold I don't want saddness to be a regularity anymore I've gotten used to my consistent crying Thinking that's just how it'll be But God I can't live with that I need contentment and joy again I need it to be in me And apart of me It is you...and everything I am is who you are So please let me breathe it again
Ummmmm PG...but it is how I felt. I strive for reality.
Lets lose our posture and punctuality and whatever shit society fuels our faces with
We will die and be forgotten, and as for your great great grandchildren, you are nothing special but a genealogical provision
I am done with the reality of my incapacity to stand up straight
I would like to show you dirty knees, with my only downfall being my difficulty with not shoving you down to yours
Throw your money and bills back to the sewage it came from. Stocks crash...blah blah blah.
I'm not going about this very peacefully. But I am all in all done.
I hope I can live up to my own rants because your status quo isn't doing it for me, and I'd be a hypocrit and a failure to find myself in the midst of it again.
Martha Mary Here he comes Blazing saddles He's on the run
He aint no good Just blood and bones But he's coming Coming to take me home
He said Hunny I found you down in the dust That's when I knew you were the one I'd love When I look at you there's a fire inside So wont you come and be my fiery bride
Clear the streets Bring the children in There's a storm a brewin We're about to begin
Brother Jefrey Sing one last song And hide your eyes While he cuts your throat
He said Baby girl I know you were hard to keep Running all around with your dancing feet Dressing so pretty with your har done nice Now no other man will ever think twice
Could this be sunburnt day Still aching from the heat of earlier No longer aglow but dark and deep Run your smooth hands across this face Uncomfortably fevered, all pent up in the body The clouds have run and folded overhead It seems even the ground is unsettled Suffering from discontent Still trying to see the depth Between the yellow bird and the white fence Blow and blow and blow green trees Stand and stand and hold brown trunks Do they only feel indifference anyways That is a fools revelation This is an alive day They all feel the sadness with me
This quite possibly makes me a coward, and happily so.
"Like momma said, don't let it go to your head"
So I'm living out this song And keeping my guard up high No stupid expectations will ever make their cut I am always unaware And always unaffected And surprisingly this tends to be scary too Just because I wont give the satisfaction of acknowledgement How can I acknowledge when I plain and simple ignore? But I don't care, remember, whether it's me or not Because I turn a blind eye I wont suspect a thing So if anything gets in the way It doesn't bother me It's all your fault.
You've sailed your way onto the mother ship All silence and stars They watch you, without blemish Robed in white And their eyes, they gleam in reflection of light Oh my, you are lovely You are more than these words These phrases are like clattering of dishes upon the floor I can't hold them So they fall You are warm and entrancing Something celestial, this is the universe It's like you've never touched earth before
I am not sure what is holding me together these days A make it away still standing But shaken from the blast And it's not like I have the chance to fill in the spaces I don't even know where it's coming from Hold back the floods It's my job Hold them in...
You've got potential seeping out of your pores Sinking into the ground beneath your feet We all wish we could walk in your steps But they're so far gone We can't even understand your prints anymore You're abstract and obscure, how does one become like you? They like to call you strange, you're curious and untamed But we watch, still, as your movements amaze Who are you?
I'm always aching for individuality And here I find myself crying myself to sleep Begging to be next to someone else again I am just a child who is needy of love
With the sound of a string The uplifting harmonics I will step forward Perhaps I am blind But I am confident and aware This life may be a fog But my path is clear I will go If you will take me there
I always was a whimsicle child Caught up, some would say for far to long In my imagination The creation of how life should be Or could be, in distant lands, and in the deep of the forest And I loved lullabys Haunting, beautiful songs That spread thin the day's light Till my breath held deep With only the notes to keep me on
"Hush-a-bye don't you cry, Go to sleep-y, little baby. When you wake you shall have All the pretty little horses. Blacks and bays, dapple grays, Coach and six white horses. Hush-a-bye don't you cry, Go to sleep-y, little baby"
Please don't set yourself up For a breathtaking view Don't be expectant or enraptured
And yet, I only discredit myself.
I may be lovely at times I may shine so bright At least I hope I will
This is not out of pride, it is shear begging
All I want is for my heart to be magnetic Not just the same old, when you're short of breath and you lose your way Just my idiosyncrasies, can you love those? My deepest most favorite things, can that be the sunshine I give?
Because if I had to turn myself inside out I'd be a garden to stroll through On a sun speckled day in late spring Straw hats and barefeet Flowers and rhubarb and snowpeas.
Enough analogies. You'll find me someday.
Dear God, you know every part of me. My beautiful creations and my deep downfalls. Thankyou for your boundless love...
Fly your hopes to hell Because you're bloodied on the ground
And I know that all you want to do is scream as loud as your lungs will allow To grab the dirt in your fists and decompose in your tear stained body All the wounds in your chest seem to do is fester
And you will break, you promise, you will break and break and break
I know, this is so crushing. I know I know I know. You will find it there. For one so enraptured with with this bitter demise, how could you not? It is brilliant, I promise you. Oh and it is drenched in agony. But it something solid. It is truth. It is clarity. It Is You.
I wish I was just like you Every 'you' that brushes across my palet I have such admiration and envy for the generic He and She...so beautiful and strong You have emotion that seems much freer than my own But perhaps in the little I know you, the colours are concentrated Running more vivid against the absent background I just want to feel the colour in myself
I love feeling the blood surge through my body From the tips of my fingers to my feet I stretch them out as far as I can but nothing slows the beat So I find each pressure point Each large vein to hold on to And I listen to the rhythm of the steady pump Trying to comprehend that muscle in my chest That functions so consistantly and strong It is uncontrolled by me, I barely understand it I am ignorant of my own insides The cells that drive their way through my tangled super highway In and Out with Force and Flow A Rhythm that plays throughout night and day And my concious mind barely collects
There's a connection between us and stars In their deaths, their cataclysmic abolition The minute matter, the particles of their exsistence Thrust into infinity Passing by our finite beings They rain on us, we breath them in They feed us and fuel us
There are no words big enough to encapsulate this creation
