Beautiful Earth
Outside is the most beautiful thing to rest your eyes upon
The fade and sift of the delicate colour palate
Vivid and perfectly intertwined across the landscape before you
There is never a harsh sore upon land, sky or sea
When simply left, untainted in your view
How is it that every independant sorce,
Whether icy river or spindled tree,
Pale sky or yellowed hill,
Can so compliment the other to create the complete and matchless whole that is earth?
Am
The Lord has blessed me this day
For He is teaching me how to unabashedly love
I feel ten thousand things right now
Such a glorious disposition
There Are Many Footprints Littering This Ground
I guess there's something to be said for how I am refusing to think about it
To speak of it or entertain it or give it any sort of light
I don't ever want to write about it again, so here I shall give it one last breath
The bare minimum of acknowledgement for existance, merely to enter it in the history books
I wont even allow a palpatation of my heart, because this time I am wary of the growth and my boot is hovering to stomp it out
So just clearing things up, this is a vague mention. A footnote if you will, to keep in context and preserve my life's story.
You are a good man. I wish you well.
The Tick. Finished.
Sixth, your clock has stopped working. You need a new clock.
November
I saw that someone had their Christmas tree up and I wondered, "How long does it take for someone to get lit in this town?"
Various nuances aside, it was the basic possibility in question that came to surface that evening
That in clouds and cold and grey, one can never look up to some sort of sunshine, so how does one ever reach the potential of glowing?
Or being illuminated
There always seems to be that 'trapped below water' feeling here and I don't know if I'm correct in assuming, but everyone seems to feel it
And one always gets that impression of forgery if you get anything else
By this time I realized I had nearly slowed to a stop beneath a lamp post. Sometimes I like to let the light reinvent my shadowed sight, rather than fully accepting when the cold had ripped the pores of my coat and sweater and undershirt and skin with it's slender fingers and is running them down my delicate spine.
All the people here wonder, "How long does it take for someone to go crazy in this town?"
I can't take large doses of these people. They look at me like I'm an addict and I look at them like their inane, when we both know inside ourselves (and not that deep either) that we're quite the opposite. I know that they dive into filthy proportions and they know that I am insignificant still. Still insignificant, they've passed me before.
The snow isn't soft, but spread thin and harsh and whisped across the pavement. You can barely tell sidewalk from road and everyone seems to be okay with this. Earlier I saw lights on and I glanced in just to let my eyes rest upon something warm. I could live vicariously through that couch or through that hardwood floor. I wonder, "How long does it take for someone to heat up in this town?"
T-9hrs
Every ocean break
Thunder clap
Star collide
Is right now
Me inside
Feel more breaking or chaos or whatever this is
I don't think this is me
I pray to God this isn't me
But I do understand this to be my plain and simple humanity
Where's the part of me that's You?
A reminder that if you're not current on my blog, you'll miss out on some of the lamest stuff I write!!! Because I've started deleting it! Dang!!
Humbled
And with a glaring jolt I realized I had fallen into some "looks" bullshit
It stops now, we're all on an even playing field
Hoopla
I'm falling in love with everybody on the dance floor
Every bodies looking if there's something to work for
It's a twist twist turn til I've got you in my hand
'Cause baby I don't stop giving til I've made you my man
The Tick, continued
Fifth, sitting with your ribs unhinged is an uncomfortably vulnerable position. Not even sitting, but leaning forward, expecting a walk in or a snap shut. A tilt to the later but preferring the first.
Arms.
I need someone to get the left sleeve for me
The Tick.
Here's the tick
...If you wanted to know the inner workings of the clock
First, the imminent explosions. Unpredictable and uncontrollable, they leave ones mind incapacitated. It's all up to the blood right here. Hopefull, so hopefull. This is the gain before the peak. You are perfect. So perfect far away.
Second, the glimpse. You're hotwired in the heat and there's still something there, left counting down. This is the time for boiling, thanks for more explosions in the pot. Convenient irrationality leaves you but no choice than to act.
Third, the movement. There's movement and it's close. You've got it in your vision at all times. Your mind is suddenly reinvented to an overreacting analyzing fool and you're exploring spaces you never knew were there and wish never existed. But heaven, you got a taste, because you're still perfect and you're right here.
Fourth, the pause. Loss of momentum, or speed, or confirmation, or anything for that matter in the impatient's eyes. You're doubtful. You're retracting. You're desperately reaching whilst trying to contain the gleam of desperation. Because what you want is precious, it takes some time to come to be, such as creation and fruition always does in the masters work.
Fifth.....
I'm not there yet.
Fact
MY heart can't be walked away with
It terrifies me what could happen if it can be
I fear I could be overrun
And that is out of the safe zone.
Things You Didn't Know!
Well isn't that funny, you never EVER knew those things
Not to mention that elevators make me dizzy
And large crowds make me sick
Exerpts from the past few days. Yall get it
Echoes in this deep abyss now reign against the glistening walls
And I, I am nothing but a hollow frail body
But a spirit, awaiting death
I hope you feel the same infatuation towards me, so we can eventually speak, and maybe even develop real live feelings
I'm hiding beneath layers and layers of curtains and fabric, you are too but I'm glad you don't show it off.....You said "It was alright, but..." and you talked more than you maybe should have.....
...that adoring feeling, everyone does, only one, wonder if all...
Honestly, after touching your cheekbones, I would declare "You have freckles! Sweetly surprising"
Honestly, after leaning in and staring for a while I would comment "You are as vivid as the sea"
Honestly, to you I would say, "You are like a rock that drops from my chest to my stomach. You render me immobile and your stare haunts my dreams"
The Day the Birds Settled Down
My breath is dropping with every exhale
For that is what becomes of it in such heat
Behind the hut in scant shade
I've never understood shade like I do now
Never saw it's quality nor it's reason for being
Now I understand it, it comes for me
My limbs are tucked from the sun and stretched from skin
A delicate maneuver, close enough to examine my knees
My knees are fascinating in the afternoon
Dusty white lines that sink in the divets
Pale and sickly strewn against my black
Blacker in the shade, browner in the sun
I try not to move too much
Everything stops in this hour
The hour of the reigning sun
It is our universe and only it does speak now
But still I hear a hollow thwacking, mama said he should not be working
Yesterday, but not today
He should not be working today
I told Anan that but he would not listen
He wrote in the dirt
I said you should not do that today
Yesterday you could write in the dirt but not today
He did not listen
He looks more like me now because my hair is lessening
And his belly is becoming swollen like mine
I look at my belly now and ask it if it wants to be with its sister
Belly do you want to visit Funanya's belly?
You growl loudly like hers did, and are large as well
If you go I could see her too!
But I do not know where she went
Mama says she has much in her belly wherever she is
I would like to go there and fill mine
The shade is smaller now
I am tired of all this thinking
But I hurt too much to sleep
Mama doesn't let me sleep at this hour...
The shade is moving now
Sometimes I see tricks with my eyes, never the shade moving
Such excitment the sun brings at this hour
But it is not a trick!
Mama is calling to the birds, the birds!
The birds are playing with the shadows on the ground
Men have come out of their houses to yell to the birds
I yell to them too, are we befriending them?
Yes, they settle down on our ground, around our huts
Their feet make traces in the dust
Mama says Today! You must catch them Today!
Come in Today! Eat Today!
The men have caught the birds
And are bringing them for supper
The men dance and sing, mamas are shouting and whooping
Come eat Today children, fill your bellys once again!
You
Dream of me too
Please please please
Dream of me too
Because eventually we'll tire of dreaming and get real
What Happens
"...you have stolen my heart
with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace."
Song of Solomon 4:9
Announcement to all yall!
I hereby call this day to be recognized
As the day I said hello
