Baby Belly
Someday a tiny human being will sew itself together inside of me
Genes tied to genes and cell topping cell
It will eat with me and drink my life to make its own
It will fold itself together within the safest place in my body
It will swim its way around my belly and reach for my skin
One day I will name it and let it be its own
But for a time we will be just the two of us, them and I
LoVe
The love of my life is made of dead trees
We breathe stars
License plates can be read in Greek
My tongue is a strong muscle
My Dear
Oh my dear I have lost you in the grass again, you slipped from my fingers and crawled across some long blade I hope you are safe in there and aren't afraid, I hope you know I am not far I am standing a head above the rest (at least I'm trying)
Oh my dear your head is beneath the surface again, I'll try to remember that you carry your own gills You protect yourself with phosphorescent light so I don't need to fret, I hope you know I've got one foot in and the other is out (so you can cross the bridge if you need to)
OH my dear! I didn't know you weren't around but I wish you were, if I had remembered to remember you I certainly would have cared that you weren't where you were supposed to be, I hope you know that even though I'm in and out of conciousness your still in the clearer part of my dreams (....)
Dilemma (NOT the Kelly Rowland song...yea!)
The mind breaks as love gets stuck in the gears
There always was a malfunction there
So we've learned how to filter it out pre-digestion
Any sign and we've tossed it out the door
It's not obligatory, simply habitual!
An easy process to pain-free benumbed existence!
I quit caffeine
"Because it adds more jangle"
And I don't need any more jangle in me, damnit!
A Brief Summary:
6 hours and functioning
I probably shouldn't wait it out
I know I'll be pissed about life in the morning
I almost lost "it" this weekend
I've always been too proud to let anything get me down
But my fear drove me to my knees this time
I WANT YOU
Maybe this is something good?
I probably need more regular sessions and some sort of med
The regular tylenol and 7% appears to be generally frowned upon
Emptyness & Chaos (eventually) you can suck it
Sidenote: I occasionally hope that noone particularly conservative (ahem...GRANDMA) reads this blog and takes it in any way offensive. I love you G-MA!
Mamma
Old women wraps herself in scarves and tells her son she'll see him again
He barely remembers who she is beneath her skin
Her feet walk her through leaves and snow, ice and water, sand and grain
She wants to walk around the world, she tells all who fault to listen
The earth is my mother, she tells them. I never knew anyone else but her
I never had an umbilical cord or a first breath out of water, I just woke up
My daddy probably left her. The sun behind the moon.
Isn't that how it always goes...
And the people walk away.
Wrapped in scarves her ears are dull and her hair is thin
Some say she is held together by the patterned fabric and thread
Skin is loose but that is how it should be, she says
Like the dirt from the rock or the water from the dirt
Nothing stays around for long, so neither will I
Old women walks back home
Her son barely remembers she left,so she unwraps her scarves
Baby!
I hold this baby like a brick in a box
Untidy and awkward as it slowly slips out
I wont let you go if you stop making a mess
And holding so tightly to my chest
The Greater Fall
I almost lost you, it was a stormy night
Now I am drained of all emotion from inside of me
To think there would be one I would fight for
My pride would never admit the fall to its knees
But I was so afraid you wanted to let me go
That it was too hard to be worth it
That was the greater fall
Strum
I pull the cord to build a life
A string of music that rings and tugs
I break the cord to fall apart
A flyaway hair that strays and sharps
I mend the cord to patch a hole
An empty phrase that stumbles and lilts
I play the cord to hear the change
A warmer melody with deeper strength
Please
The unhealthy self prays for bulimia of the soul
But one feels so justified in asking for some sort of proof
An example that shows there is something inside
Exclamation!
Shit!
You found that flash flood season, the point in time where everything explodes into uber happiness and goes on and on and on because it believes in immortality
But flowers never knew anything about life so even after avoiding being trampled and digested they lose their favorite drink and burn out into nothing
Shit, the story ended before I knew it
Cheese
I am a disaster of nothing and everything inside
But I can smile real well
Siren
I am a siren
I stand on the rocks
Away from civilization
Surrounded by sisters, Shame and Futility
I call to you, daring you in
Let us dive into deafening oblivion
And now my stomach aches from this emptyness
My Kind of Love
Love has been burried
Yes it has lost its flight long ago
What was a wing if it soar without bone
Only the feathers which drift to the ground
Over days and ages it sunk beneath soil
Sifted by the many
Their feet treading time
Until the roots drew it in to their strangled womb
And it's breath, but the thought, was drawn
May it grow through the flower or the weed?
I should not hope to think
But it trickles through the milky veins
Quietly letting the life go on
Surrender
You are mine
But I'm faulty
So love the lovely of me
And I've done time
On a short line
But you keep reaching to me
I keep hiding in my skin
But you keep walking around and breaking in
How do you keep getting in here?
Then I break face
And it's all out
Life is falling from me
You just stand there
Like a wall
And hold it all around me
I keep boarding up that place
Well you keep coming around to open it up
I don't want to see it, I don't want to see it
When you told me you would be right there
This is my life, my fight, how could you?
I surrender
