Wreck
When they send the wrecking ball in
Remember to record it on your mini hand-held
Show it to your friends, watch it yourself about three times
Then burn it up as a sign of the times
The times are what you make them so you can decide
But the faster they come the shorter their alive
You feel it and feel it and feel it
Then they melt and crisp and fray
Finally, they fade away
This is my friend: http://www.myspace.com/watashiwak
Stole Me Away
Things are getting a little bit crazy
Here in my heart
It's like I'm desperate for something
That I surely don't want
So first hold tightly
Bound as it fights me
Keep reminding myself that I'm in a bit of a daze
And pretty soon I'll be thankful for not getting confused
It's a bit tiring to fight so much
Sucks
Is there sleep hope?
My stomach is in perma-lurch
Or perma-midfall
Know that feeling?
Aya
Found an answet in the sadness
Things she never knew she had
Like how quickly forgotten
How quickly disbanned
I was walking in the sunshine
Like a million dollar shoes
Now my feet are wrecked and dirty
And the pain is sinking through
Hello...Reality? Is that you?
The heart has found new ways to shatter
Sometimes it takes me by surprise
Like a quick drop of pressure, and loss of oxygen to the brain
Sometimes you mean more to me
Oh?
I've found myself addicted
It's because approximately a year and 7 months ago I decided I didn't need it but didn't want to be alone anymore
So even without particular desire I find myself looking for a 'someday'
Maybe it's habit or imagination
But it's unexpected, hard to break
Real
So don't sleep tonight
Just lay your head on your elbows
And stare into the night
This ache is temporary and you need to hold on to it
And lovely comes on every side of the diamond
Breath breath breath, and imagine what it could be like
Then let it all out and remember you're still right here
Right in that place where things still hurt
Right in the middle of nowhere
Waiting for something (like he said)
Right in the centre of silence
Where no one else whispers but you
So don't let it pass tonight
You need to think think think
And feel feel feel
Until your head and heart are sharp
You can't wish til they're dull
They'll keep pumping blood
You're still real
Dear Diary...
I feel like I have so much to say but then I go to say it and it just turns out redundant and cliche, maybe I'll just tell you the truth.
Perhaps it was pride or maybe it truly was my inner teenager waiting to burst but I opted for immaturaty and threw my hands up in the air. What the hell, it's not like I ever 'rode in cars with boys' before.
I liked to think I left 16 when I was twelve and jumped right to 26, but I suppose that's where the pride comes in. My brain has been divided since I had the chance to think and I'm a black and white person, as much as I run my mouth for colour. I need the rights and the wrongs and I kill myself over solving that equation. Interestingly enough, most life events are not right or wrong, though I'm still bent on placing them in that box.
I've spent the year in the depths and throes of dealing with the fact that perfection is unattainable. I tip-toed along a cliff for a while and then I got tired of that and ended up on the other side of the bridge. Can I try and be anything but? What if I just opt for the "I don't know choice", or dare I say it, the "wrong" choice. I've heard that's more fun sometimes anyways. So I said yes and went out. And then I went out again and again and stayed longer and longer. I wasn't lying when I said it was the most fun I've had, neither was I when I said it's the most foolish I've been.
And I think there's something about dark nights, parked cars, and electric lights. There's something about trying not to make a sound when coming in the door and acting like you have no clue. There's something about watching everybody else want it but knowing you have it. At the bottom if it all it's about feeling love though I promised I wasn't filling any holes.
So I had my little taste of 'rebellion' as some kids like to call it, or maybe just acting my age. Now I'm just left figuring out what that gets me. That part is what makes it lonely.
Gold Digger
I suppose I could just keep working my way up
Financially stable and successfully aware.
*laugh*
Heard This Before
Sometimes I miss being
Held so tight
My lips
Being kissed
Very right
More and more
Oh
That's what I miss
Who Are You, The Last Recluse
I love feeling the beauty of the day
Like tangeable little crystals
Which float and shimmer in the air
In the corners of my vision
It's like slowly waking up
With your limbs still frozen
Or a morning in a new romantic land
Just sit here, don't ever leave
Happy?
In thinking of this today, I wondered which I would prefer to feel
For I have found a strange sort of happiness in the day to day goings on
I can sit and eat and sleep
And move and breath, and all this pleases me
I asked, "could I feel this forever?"
But the question rounded back on the depth of the subject
I have found a simple happiness, no strings attached
The stars and trees are my friends and they smile down on me
Simply walking amongst them brings joy to our hearts
And I can walk from glade to glade without considering regret
Now the other is complex
Though happiness, nonetheless
But one's heart and mind and soul become much more unrested
There is involvement and passion
Uncommon interaction which lifts one up to heaven and down to the depths of the sea
And I don't know which is better
Needs a Job
Trying really hard not to let my chest break
Filling in the cracks with anything I can find
It's the quiet moments
When I'm left to think
But not what you think
It's a completely different thing
oh reminisce, don't mind me
Let me tell you about my time at the course
Early mornings we arrive, pulling into the gravely parking lot
Sauntering in past our lockers and time clock,
Putting our bodies through the motions while our brains still slept
At round plastic tables we hid our heads in elbows
Hiding from the neon lights and the barking voices of Al, Steve and Steiner
I'm always on the greens, but I still have to wait for them to send me away
I can listen to find which boy gets cut from fairways today
Maybe I'll pass him on the rounds...
With dankness still clinging to the air we find our ways to a cart
Mower four is generally slow, try to avoid it
The hum of the engine and the tires on pavement lull me in this morning movement
One by one I pass the occupied greens, each worker in a progressive state
Unload, walk-to, start-up, turn.
I can barely see the reflection of dew on the green,
So for the first couple rounds I am guessing my line
Otherwise, I am distracted by the magnificent sky
Every morning it designs itself different
Bursts of cloud, streaks of orange, the sun is never modest being
My morning song is always created and forgotten around the rising
As for practicality, we have it all figured out
One hole an hour, sometimes you'll tag the end if you're quick
If you calculate your position correctly, you can prepare yourself for each green
And if you know you're ending up on 15, you'll probably want to lap someone
Once horizontal, once vertical. Always horizontal on the slopes.
I used to vary my speeds but now I'm on full tilt entirely
My turn is smooth and precise and no rough is damaged in the action
Granola bar at eight and one at nine thirty, they never tasted so good
Holes 7 and 16 are perfect for singing, preferably if a raker isn't hiding in the trap...
Siilllllyyyyyy
HOLY Heart Explosions!
My mind is looking for guilt trips and disappointment and fear and regret
But it's coming up empty handed
Everytime you touch me My Heart get's dropped down an elevator
And then shot out to the sky
Hello, GOODBYE!
Is This Going To Be Forever?
Sometimes the lights reflect and catch me in a moment
Time slows, everything does, even the turning of the wheel
And the music emphasises a breathtaking scene
On those days I take little pictures of significant mediocrity
Those things that I'll end up doing again and again,
But I'll always remember the first time
Somehow my body knows the days the sun is going to shine
And my soul warms up to it
I can't stop smiling at everything in it
I dance to restaurant music
I laugh at the marks on my body
And I scream when I think about how silly we are
Maybe I'll stay awake just to keep the light on
