These Sentences Are Falling
I've decided what I want and
that
is
you
Because I gave it up to
have
you
near
I'm slightly distraught when
you're
not
close
And I can't think of excuses to
tell
my
heart
I still know what works and I
know
what
won't
And you still haven't got the
"it's
over"
yet
Letter to Moon
Dear Moon,
Please help me. I think I shall come and visit soon, lower the oxygen levels to my brain, and stare into blank space for a significant portion of time. Lately I've been seeing star explosions, and I'm not sure whether they are just a few miles from where I'm standing, or reflections from light-years-old events. The prisms of colour which refract convince me every time of their present implications, as rainbows uniquely lighting up my eyes. But then the magnetism fades and the dust settles, and I realize I was staring at history's shadow. I'm fairly close to cutting loose into space, but I don't want to get lost forever in emptiness.
Please help me.
Love, and loving, Alexandra.
Twitterpated
Yea, you've got me moving
All out of my mind
And thinking up imaginary time
I've gotta keep hushing
My whole self down
Every time you cross my brain
I'm over and out
You're a pretty little bow
Wrapped up about my belly
And when you speak it pulls tight
And drops my heart to my socks
Let loose, sweet tooth, I've got substance, yes I do
But it's shifting back beside you, beside you you you
Dear
That's what I want
Though I feel it's all through cellophane
It's okay, because you're my dear friend
And I know you'll be there
I know I can be just who I am when I'm with you
She's Sitting in a Strange Room
It's just a saddness
Not to have a steady hand
In the things
I shake
I just feel
That some things would be better achieved
By accumulating
And I start to wilt
When I think of lacking that input
Oh My! Ramble.
I think my body and soul have gained a loneliness frights
And I'm afraid I'm holding on just so I have something to come back to
So, my dear, though you are lovely and strong,
And I'm fairly sure you could make me happy
I want to need you because I can't live without you
Not just need you for needing's sake
I've been thinking about that feeling,
My mother always said "you want to find someone you can't live without"
And I would sit perplexed, wondering if I've ever felt that feeling
And considered that if I wasn't sure, it probably hadn't happened yet
So in a later conversation we spoke of my brother and sisters
And I tossed out dreams of building a family and having children
As an aside she said "I wonder what our life would look like if we had stopped after your brother"
After only seconds of contemplating this idea my heart started to hurt and my brain began to block any further thoughts
These little relatives of mine, I couldn't even imagine life without
It wasn't possible, and any attempt was an aversion to my entire being
This, I I realized, is the love of someone who completes your life
Something I have yet to experience (external to family, of course)
And
I need some time
To clear my head
So it's not just about liking it
It's not about being adored
Not just about having someone to kiss
It's not stability or affection
Or getting along
It's not just those things.
I think I've been jumping the gun.
How Is Your Heart? (Chapter 3)
I think it may have bent into a few
Lovely little shapes
Too eager to mend
I'm not sure how to explain how it so quickly has jumped and forgotten
But I've decided to indulge it only a little
By writing this one for you, because I think you're most deserving
Because it's been a while I've been trying to get you
Wrapped around my finger
And though my feelings are scattered around me, I still try to keep you near
I agree it isn't fair, and I'm probably not the right one
But I can't help returning and making sure you're there
The truth is I'm helpless when you barely touch me
And I am a little jealous when you look away
I just unfold when you tell me the truth
And now that you have I am lost for what to do
It's fortunate for us both that I'm going away
I need some desolation to get my head on straight
I'll be sad if you forget me
But understand that it's a good thing
Because you're a keeper, but I can't seem to hold anything too close
