My ramblings....

I can't stop
I'm heaving
I'm addicted to this typing
I don't even know what I mean
I'm trying to get across what's too dangerous to say
I don't know when that stopped me any other day
But it's sexual
It's temptatious
It's driving within
It's sinful and furious and boiling beneath my skin
The touch of desire
It's lustful and breaking
Rising over a higher conciousness and taking it's power
Words mine are mixed up
Solve me here I dare you now
Touch and burning hot
Not too close to smell the rot that seeps within
Forget it again
I want to be here
Close close closer, all that we can
Give in
Walk away
I'm screaming because I can
This is pushing and breathing
A heavy kind
Depth perception lost
Cross the fault line
I know you'd fall
I know I know I know
I'd take you down with me
I'm an evil kind
You wouldn't stop, I'd make you rot
Too, with me
You can't tell, you wouldn't
How vicious could I'd be
I'm angelic, innocent victim
Only to let my selfish movements free
Almost over
I'm failing within
Lucky you weren't here for another cover-up stint
Shaking and hyperventilating
I barely took that time
Seizure and collapsing
I was grabbed and shook and dropped
Heavy, dropped, like from the sky
Lucky you weren't there to be sucked down below
Lucky you, lucky you
I'm still recovering from the shock
When I wanted it baddly
All heated from the lapse
Striking out, I just told the whole truth
I wanted more from a body, from a being
I wanted touch and I wanted heating
Now I'm failing from lack of control
Embarressed the next day because I knew I couldn't hold
Well here it is out on the page
I wanted the story to break and the truth to unfold
Because I'm so damn pretentious and so damn fake
I hope no one reads this because it would shut down everything that I am
Who is this? This heathen? She breaths for self elevating reasons?
She's lustful and advancing? Using others for her skins-hopes?
She tells the world of her faulties? She falls down flights of stairs?
Daily?
I hope no one reads this because it's really who I am
I hope no one reads this because I can't really stop
Not on my own accord, that's for sure
Because my heart still swears
My brain still yells
It hits and compartmentalizes everyone
Shuts down and ignores
Never revives except to deplore the smallest inkling of guilt
Shit...that's what my chest says
I hope nobody reads this because I just swore
I hope if they do they pick that out as the worst thing I'll do...how ignorant and naive. How depraved would they be? If that's all they saw but my four letter word? How lucky I'd be...I could fall down with the rest...with my mindless notions and the dirt put to rest. Yea you swept it under the rug because my profane toung, well take another look because the worst is yet to come. One day you'll be sitting and I'll dump it all out...all this garbage and sewage and mud from above. This glorified sinning that we all wish we could see. It's sensational isn't it...where I've come from? Isn't it magical that my body's a dump? Isn't it fantastic that I'm letting it blow out? How about I stand up on the stage and talk about it. I'll put tears in my eyes and blow my nose about it. You'll all feel blessed and you'll do the same. Here are my indecencies...aren't I profane! How magical, how beautiful, how simply the purest! I want to stick my head in a drain and cry my eyes out. Suck it up and drink it in...I hope everyone reads this because it'll do just the same. I'm sick inside. I'm vomiting my insides. I'm bloody and poor. I'm the worst stink you'll ever come upon. I'm garbage. Nothing at all. Don't even look because it's empty...aside from this heaping disgusting outpour. This is rediculous isn't it? What you've found inside? I'm tired of talking, I've said all that's to be said.

posted by Unknown @ 12:45 AM