My ramblings....

In remembrance...

Missing some of the people I loved the most
I lost them down the tube somewhere along the road

I just remember nights when all I wanted was you
Innumerable times did I flip over you
You ruined my insides
Taught me how to reap my emotions
There was no justification to why you deserved such devotion
But you were IT in my eyes
All that I dreamed
One glance from you boy, and I was gone down the drain
I couldn't imagine moving on
In truth, I wouldn't let go
Because too many of my thoughts had been toward you turned
I'd spent too much time on you
Too much to give up

So where are you now?
I had you for a second or two
You made me laugh and lit me up
But the dream began to fade
I wish you were all I built you up to be
That is a fault of my own
I wish your gorgeous eyes still sent me to space and back home
So what does it come down to
When you're just not the one?
A brutality of words, all magic undone

I'm remembering all the times that I simply ached
So frustrated that I cried
Angry that I couldn't be done with you
Furious that I was still so taken
I'd walk away from you and swear it'd be the last time
I'd yell at you and be mean to you
Call you names and throw things at you
And still, session over
I'd come back the next week
Begging for forgiveness
Don't let it be the last time...please please please
I hated you til I loved you
And right back again
And still I never knew you
But that's what held me on

I wish you could have just told me
Poured your soul to me
Conversed wildly about your hearts dreams
And stoked a life seeking fire in me

I wish so many things
But I wasn't for you
And you weren't for me

So I will remember you fondly
You may never know
I wish you would have read this once and a while
I was quite wild about you
But that was all so long ago
I hope you find a sense of peace
A love from your Creator
And a pretty girl to hold you close
I will try and hide my jealousy
But I wasn't for you
And you weren't for me



I needed to write a final ending to a VERY long chapter. Interestingly, all recorded here on my blogs. Anyways...I said it so many times before, but it is finally closed.

http://adanae.blogspot.com/2006/02/boy-you-are-afraid-but-that-doesnt-get.html

posted by Unknown @ 10:22 PM