My ramblings....

He stood at the door, facing inwards, waiting expectantly for her goodbye.

Lately, her goodbyes had involved his arms around her hips and her lips upon his.

That is, until he had gone away for a short while, and she realized she knew how to fall in love.

Previously, she had deemed love to be a lucky break, a dreamer's reality, anything but a necessity, and not highly likely for her. She tired of all those words everyone else spoke. She felt embarrassed over all those times she had spoken it into existence, and then watched it fade as quickly and painlessly as any other word.

So she gave up and gave in. One evening she met a boy who she quite nearly forgot, but one day he told her he couldn't resist her eyes and he wanted to take her out for expensive meals and treat her to his high taste. What else is a girl to do?

She accepted his fawning and his midnight kissing. She told her friends about him and they all got jealous. She went along for days of sweet tasting niceties.
(Though there was one moment when he asked if she was afraid, and she despised him for it)

Until he went away. It was only for a short while. A couple weeks at the most. But the moment he left she stopped thinking about him. He left no absence. No hole to fill.

And then it happened. It all was very quiet. Very fast. A few minutes, if that. She learned that love did, in fact, exsist. And, even more interesting, that she herself was capable of posessing it, experiencing it even. And she knew this because without it, there was a sudden absence. If she did not have it, it would create a hole. She wasn't quite sure she wanted to try and fill it with anything but what created it in the first place.

The boy came home. His hopes were high. He lavished her with gifts and with great expectations. She tried to examine him, holding his shape over the absence, seeing if with some sort of force or turn he could actually fit.
(Though we all know from childhood woodblock puzzles, this never does work)
The more she tried, the more she smiled at things that weren't pleasing, the less she wanted him. And she truly did try.

So she walked him to the door, he faces her with a smile. She smiles at things that aren't pleasing. She gathers up her courage and lets him kiss her one last time. Her brain inputs the sad, unfortunate action of "mouth in close proximity to mouth" instead of a kiss, and she says goodbye.
She's convinced that love would never calculate the difference, even in goodbye.

posted by Unknown @ 6:35 AM