My ramblings....

Numba 1!

I don't really think I need to compare
I just don't want to ever look back
The best choice, the reason for dreaming
To be bold, being on par with the holy grail

But boldness is a lovely exterior
And I feel rather fragile and frightened inside
I know time passes and things lets go
But how much is lost, I couldn't possibly know

So this is where trust comes in
Letting confidence seep down to the roots
So quakes could rustle and blow but the core would remain undamaged
And I'd know I'm worthy of being searched for


Yes, I must admit this is a shield building poem. Everybody tells me I have nothing to fear but nobody seems to know how terrified I get when I really let my brain go. About absolutely everything, and things requiring risk even more so. Maybe I'll try to think about it like I do physical frights...that the very fact they frighten me means I must do it all the more. But I should not assume this is a cliff to conquer. Maybe it's the ocean I'm trying to woo. In moments like this I get all self-adoring as if to remind myself that "of course it shouldn't be another way!". But then I feel raw, like I'm scraping the bottom, reaching for money that's quickly floating away. I hate building shields. It makes me unwelcoming, inside and out.

posted by Unknown @ 5:30 AM